Anger . We see the word all the time in newspapers and magazines, and sometimes it even makes the evening news. The Anger of modern life; the Anger of family life; the Anger of work; the Anger of living in a time of war with the threat of attacks; the time of political uncertainty. Anger generated by the major events that take place in our lives, like child birth, marriage, divorce, illness, old age and death.
While a little Anger keeps us sharp, too much can cut us down. Coping is the crux of it all. Cope poorly and we surely invite a crisis. Cope well and we deal with the situation constructively and resolve it sooner. When we can do this, it puts “crisis” in its proper perspective. From the mental health perspective, it’s not the event that’s the crisis, it’s the emotion the event generates in us that makes it a crisis. Here are several suggestions to assist us in dealing with Anger in our lives.
- Minimize disruptions. No matter how chaotic the situation may be, try to live life as normally as possible. The more customary our routine, the more stable we will feel.
- Re-label. How we view things largely dictates our response to them. Call something that happens what it is, don’t exaggerate.
- Gather information. Find out what’s really going on. Do research and find out facts.
- Get organized. The more organized we are, the less overwhelmed we’ll feel. The Serenity Prayer will help us here.
- Establish priorities. The big, the important, difficult things; the small relatively trifling, easy things. Do what needs to be done now, others can wait.
- Share our problem. Choose someone we trust and whose judgment we respect, then express our pain and fear. Expressing our feelings will help calm us.
- Online Anger Management. Anger in the face of something calamitous is a natural emotion, but lashing out only worsens our personal relationships.
- Be compassionate toward our ourselves. This is being able to define and understand when we are having a rough time. Self-pity is sitting in our own helplessness.
- Draw on others. Do not feel like we are all alone. Instead, accept help from friends, relatives, neighbors, professionals as we need them.
- Our greatest resource is ourselves. We are not brand new to the world, weíve dealt with crises, troubles, shocks and disappointments and survived before — and we will again.