The process begins with investigating the nature of your OWN anger. Your “anger” is a part of your own psycho-biography! It says something about YOU and you must find out what there is about you that makes you “vulnerable” to that which” triggers” your anger attacks in the first place. Especially those anger reactions which are way out of proportion to the reality of the situation. Someone’s failure to remember your birthday is not grounds for a divorce! You are way angrier than the situation ( in reality) require and therefore, you must investigate and find out why your reaction is so drastic. One of the most common cause of “over-reactive” anger (rage) is the result of suppressed anger from the past! Most people have a pattern of “suppressing” their anger until the pressures, tensions and stress become intolerable. At this point, they usually “erupt” like a volcano! They find themselves doing and saying things they don’t want to do. Stuff they know they’ll regret in the morning. But they do it anyway. They don’t know how not to over-react!