Urban Myths (True or False) About Anger Issues

Urban Myths (True or False) About Anger Issues

How much control do we really have over anger issues? Why do reactions vary so widely between people or even day to day for the same person? And what are the benefits and drawbacks of expressing ourselves? Understanding anger issues in all its forms and intensities, from annoyance to irritation to rage, can make a big difference in our ability to take a step back and process this powerful and complicated emotion.

It’s bad to feel angry.
While anger usually makes us feel bad, it’s an emotion, and is not in itself bad. It also serves as a warning to let us know when a situation is not right. Anger issues can also be a strong motivator to speak up and make change.

Venting anger either physically or verbally will let you get it all out and help you be less angry.
Researchers have found that venting is the worst strategy for managing anger. It tends to escalate a situation, and displaying anger issues in ways that are supposed to “let off steam” don’t help over the long term and may even lead to increased aggression. Even hitting a pillow has been shown to do more harm than good in processing anger issues and moving forward. On the other hand, pausing to allow some of the physical and emotional intensity to subside can help in choosing the most appropriate response to a situation that makes you angry.

Ignoring anger issues makes it go away.

Anger is generally a response to an unexpected or uncontrollable situation. Ignoring the situation will not make it go away and may mean that people won’t stand up for themselves when they should. It also can lead to passive-aggressive behavior, lashing out, or stress and health problems.

Anger  is not controllable.

It’s true that feelings of anger issues are natural and beyond our control. However, how we respond is entirely up to us. We learn how to respond to the anger issues we feel. If we habitually respond quickly and heatedly, it’s a matter of relearning how to stop and think in order to make more rational choices.

People respect you when you are angry, it shows you mean business.

Being louder or angrier in a discussion may put people on edge, but it does nothing to help people see your point of view or earn their admiration. In fact, people will likely become defensive and shut down instead of listening to what you say. Being a skilled communicator, having good ideas, and being able to approach disagreements objectively are all more likely to win the respect of others.

Anger is only a problem when it’s openly expressed.

Expressing anger issues do not have to be a problem. Anger can be expressed assertively in a very healthy and respectful way. It’s when a reaction is aggressive and beyond what a situation warrants that problems arise. Likewise, unacknowledged anger issues can also lead to problems with relationships, health, and well-being.

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Anger Issues