Anger Management and Mindfulness
I could feel this red-hot. Volcanic energy growing within me amounting radiating, twisting tension. I was petrified after months of enduring this. I finally broke up with my partner relieved. I thought my anger would leave nope the excruciating fire continued for eight months.
I tried every trick in the book to stuff my anger back in the trunk. I ate my feelings. I tried forgiveness practices. I met with shamans in the mountains of Brazil, nothing worked and then it happened.
One morning I was out on a run and I suddenly stopped dead in my tracks fed up and out of options. I literally spun around to face my anger. I was shocked by what I saw I saw myself.
I saw my good girl. I saw the in congruence in my actions. I was more committed to pleasing others than I was to listening to myself. Finally, I realized that my values were out of integrity with my soul, standing there on the trail in shock and shaking.
I asked my anger when it most wanted to tell me and from deep within I heard this fiercely protective voice say stop it. Yes, you were in an abusive relationship and what he did was wrong and will never happen again, and it is time for you to stop leaving yourself this time.
I listened. I made significant changes in all areas of my life — letting go of friendships, changing my job, altering how I communicated. Anger Management and Mindfulness ask us not just to see clearly — they need us to take action. And if we don’t, anger hangs around — it’s really stubborn.
As I continued to create a healthier relationship with anger and my boundaries, I started to inhabit my body for the first time in my life — healing from sexual trauma, speaking my truth, and taking a stand for my needs and desires. And as ironic as it might sound, this whole experience of awakening to anger — though challenging and messy — truly cracked open my heart, and I am still very much on this journey.
This whole experience of awakening to anger, though challenging and messy truly cracked open my heart, and I am still very much on this journey. I still have an inner good girl shocking. I know so ask yourselves: how can I make anger, my ally well, to start, we need to understand the neuroscience of anger and to help explain it.
Let’S use the hand model of the brain which was developed by author and neuro sight or psychiatrist, dr. Dan Siegel. So everybody go ahead and make a fist. Your wrist represents your brain stem, which controls basic bodily functions, lift up your fingers. Your thumb represents your amygdala, and this whole subcortical region is the more emotional and reactive part of the brain. You can close your hand. The front of your fingers represents your prefrontal cortex, and this is the wise and rational part of your brain.
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So when you feel angry, it’s because the brains, hardwired threat response, has been triggered by a perceived threat with lightning speed. All physiological response is activated in your body: preparing you for fight if you’re an anger, erupt, err or flee or freeze, if you’re an anger stuffer. However, inside your brain, when the threat response is triggered, you flip your lid. Everybody go ahead and lift up your fingers.
Yeah instantly you lose contact with the rational, prefrontal cortex and instead the reactive amygdala hijacks, your brain. You can put your hands down in essence, it’s like you, put your four-year-old self in the driver’s seat dangerous. So how do we get the adult back in the driver’s seat? How do we support the wise prefrontal cortex in reclaiming the steering wheel, but still allow anger to sit safely inside the car?
Well, this is where Anger Management and Mindfulness come in. To quote mindfulness expert dr. Shauna, Shapiro mindfulness is paying attention with kindness and curiosity. Research has shown that mindfulness practices support the growth of the regulatory fibers from the prefrontal cortex to the lower regions of our brain, helping our wiser brain to come back online when anger is present or even the threat response.Over the last decade, I’ve shared mindfulness practices and emotional intelligence with individual clients and companies around the world, and the following Anger Management and Mindfulness tools are key to growing a healthy relationship with anger.
just a little disclaimer. Some of them might seem a little awkward, but they really do work breathe. Let’S all take a deep breath right now, so this one is so obvious right, but it’s usually the first thing we forget taking deep breaths, engages the parasympathetic nervous system and sends signals to our body that soothe the threat response, putting us back into a more relaxed State so when you notice some tension or anger in your body, first practice slowing things down by taking deep breaths name it.
When we combine breath, awareness, and compassion, anger begins to melt. It no longer controls us — we begin to control it. That is the true power of Anger Management and Mindfulness: transforming pain into presence and reaction into reflection. Anger Management and Mindfulness