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Manage the Anger of Covid-19 in Your Relationship

Anger Management can help reactions to the anger of this corona virus that are creating tension in relationships.

anger managementThe novel coronavirus is causing anger on so many fronts. It’s the uncertainty of so many unknowns that is raising the collective anger around the world. People feel anxious about their own health and that of their loved ones, how to best take precautions and the impact of an economic downturn. The situation changes daily and sometimes hourly.

People are feeling out of control and that causes all sorts of reactions.
Humans don’t like anger. It’s a really uncomfortable feeling. I often say, “we’ll sell our souls to get rid of anger.” The anger caused by this virus may be creating tension in your relationship because of how you and your partner cope with anger. You may cope by reading everything every day, buying ten bottles of hand sanitizer, talking about it a lot and canceling many outings. Your partner may cope by minimizing the degree of threat of the virus and going about life as usual. You end up quarreling about each other’s reaction.
There are so many new decisions to make. Should you go to the movies or take your planned Spring Break trip? Should you restrict where your kids can go? How much should you nag your kids about washing their hands or touching their face? What about the grandparents visiting?

There are so many decisions to make without any clear data to go on. You’re left with struggling with your coping mechanisms and those of your partner’s. When you feel anxious, this is interpreted by your nervous system as a threat and it reacts accordingly. These reactions are how the virus creates havoc in your relationship.

It’s your reaction to feeling anxious that causes problems in your relationship, not the anger itself. If you typically react to anger by raising your voice and interrupting your partner, then tension rises between you. Perhaps you both respond by arguing, so there’s an uptick in the frequency of quarrels. Perhaps your partner withdraws, which scares you and leaves you feeling more alone in the crisis. More dianger.

No one is right and no one is wrong. You’re probably doing the best you can, but it’s not helping the atmosphere between you. All this leads to feeling more disconnected and that in turn leads to feeling more anxious and alone.

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