Any person who inappropriately expresses anger or is angry at everyone. Their behaviors are generalized. The victim can be anyone (supervisor, co-worker, friend, family and stranger). A person with an anger management problem does not have the tool/skills to manage anger and therefore is likely to lash out an any person towards whom they have anger.
Q: How do we become angry?
A: There is a direct and an indirect process of becoming angry. If we are referring to anger as an emotion like sadness, hurt, or joy, anger is simply a direct feeling response. So something happens, and we may react to it with feeling hurt, angry, or some other emotion.
However, anger can also be a secondary emotion. Many people (particularly males) are trained to accept the feeling of anger, but not to accept the feelings that may have preceded it; such as feelings of hurt, fear, or vulnerability. Sometimes when we feel hurt or vulnerable, we immediately jump to anger because that’s more acceptable to us. In this context, it becomes a secondary emotion, it’s the feeling we can tolerate rather than such feelings as hurt or vulnerability.
Q: When does anger become unhealthy? How do I know?
A: Anger is unhealthy when it gets in the way of your functioning or your relationships; if anger is causing you to loose friends, put your job in jeopardy, if people complain to you about your anger, if you hear people talking about you having a bad temper. These are signs that your anger is getting in your way, and therefore it’s unhealthy.
Q: Is there a pattern and process for anger?
A: When it’s a secondary emotion, there’s the process of moving from whatever the original emotion is to the anger, because it’s too hard to stay with the original feelings.
Q: How does one’s anger affect other people? How does anger affect relationships?
A: In particular, the violence that women and children face (primarily from men) is a result of anger. Anger can very much affect other people if it’s tied into threat of violence, or into violence itself. It also tends to shut down the people who are around the angry person. Angry people may find their relationship becoming less open because people are afraid to argue back. This can be devastating, and ruin relationships.
Y
ou can learn to manage your anger by recognizing where emotions come from and learning alternatives to getting angry, ones that are far more likely to get you what you really want and need. Anger is generally a secondary emotion. You can learn to identify what feelings are underneath the anger and how to express those appropriately instead. Anger management online course can help. necessary or helpful.
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